the same old new thing..

I do feel my life went down (or up, depending on your point of view) along with my internet connection. The funny thing was the fact that I didn't miss it as much as I've feared I would. With the lack of progress, I found myself nicely sitting down to enjoy what I had in front of me, something that I've pretty much unable to do since I failed to stay in my mother's womb (damn doctor and his knives). But I guess thing around made it possible, the tsunami, DoTA, the surreal festive celebrations and the start of college.

I missed out on a turkey dinner for Xmas and pretty much was reminded why I rather be alone (I do think I'm alone for my Human Personality class) at times, humans are dire and is pretty much in need of a big tune up. The first thing we did after the tsunami effect? Blame it on someone. The first thing we do when we don't bother to answer a friends call at Xmas? Blame it on another friend!

I don't understand human sometimes. I can only blame whoever created us for not providing us with a manual, I secretly think that the reason heaven is fun is because they have the good seats of watching the game of us trying to figure outselves out.

And I do think I've figured out most part of myself. And I don't like it that much. So I don't understand why others do. I'm in love with someone who has a boyfriend, I have a crush on a girl who doesn't even know my name (and with that smile I'm sure she has a boyfriend) and I'm already on the boundary of predictability.

I need an obsession. I really do. Something that make me head over heels, to die for, that would warrant me the label of crazy. I'm on the verge of insanity with the normalness I suffer from now. Ouch.