Guess who's back!

Wahey, indeed it's me!

It's been a long time since I touch this and I dunno why. Shoop shoop, sorry.. can't resist quoting The Libertines.

One of the reason I haven't been here is because I was waiting for a new template, done again by the awesome ES. I've seen preview, now I can't wait for the full product. It's a bad reason as any, but at least it's one.

What have I done this past weeks? Nothing. Sure I've wasted moments of my life playing DOTA, agreed to go on a vacation cruise to Phuket with my friends, is this | | close to getting a new girlfriend, knowing I was barred from an exam few days before it started and quite possibly cocked up my other ones but I can't think of anything significant so far.

My life haven't changed, my dreams haven't change (although I'm trying to dream more these days, you can't beat a good sleep..) and as far as I know, I haven't change anyone around me as well.

Life is a funny thing. I've learn quite a bit this past few months. For one, I learnt that I still have no guts approaching girls without any external motivation that despite I might have some sort of crush or general wonder of the other gender, I can't pull myself up to even say "Hi" for utter no reason other than to say well... "Hi". Would this haunt me? Why yes. It has provoked me to write a story that would eventually be my assignment pass up, it has lead me to countless day dreams about weird things and I'm starting to understand how it feels like to be the guy on TV that is always waiting for the other girl to notice him.

It also vocalised another fatal flaw of me, I can' do a bloody public speech to save my life. Honest. I'm not sure what it is, something cracks and I go down along with it whenever I have to stand up and speak in front of an audience. If the world's fate rest on my heart-warming speech to the Confederation of Villains to change their mind about destroying it, then I'm apologise for the painful matter you must die in.

Just found out Ashley Simpson won the "Best New Artist" category in the Grammy today, which goes to further stengthen this:



But I would mind my words. I don't want to end up like Datuk Sharifah Aini, do I? On one hand I'm wondering how do you actually get charged for defamation. Does the fact that I can and probably had dissed Ashley Simpson somewhere sometime means I could be sued by that untalented bitch ... I mean aspiring singer soon?

That aside, I realized that it's almost new year when questions like "What have you achieved this year", "Stupid things American does 2004 (like that's hard, ...well, it actually quite trying to fit all them in a one go)" or "What is the Album of the Year? (someone is bound to say something about Ashley Simpson or Linkin Park)" has begun popping up.

She cries that life is like,
Some movie black and white,
Dead actors faking lines,
Over and over and over again.

And that's how I feel about this year generally. Idiots regained, brilliance unrewarded. And I certainly don't mean me, no.. not at all. Camon, I said that wasn't a subtle yet hard-hitting statement about me. Nop, nada. It saddens me to think that I've wasted my most brilliant years of my life hanging out in cafe, smoking weed or taking pills from time to time. One of the small things that brings me smiles and regret at the same time.

It took me years to learn how to appriciate things, and it's bound to take years more to learn how to love them, or even tell them I do. But as they say, it's better late than never. It'll prolly be late in case you're wondering :)

But here's a start, thanks to all those who has managed to touch my life (not many has managed to move it yet) and to those who I had/have/will have a crush on, just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry for something beautiful that could have been, or the awful days where you wondered why the sex maniac keeps staring at you.

So as my favourite quote goes "Last words are for idiots who haven't said enough", I shall bid you a quiet farewell for now, though I will be back. After all, I'm not American.