some mindless stuffs

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:

7:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 am- OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 am- OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

12:30 am- OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 pm- OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

4:00 pm- OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 pm- OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

7:00 pm- OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 pm- OH BOY! SLEEPING ON MASTER'S BED! MY FAVORITE!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

DAY 183 OF MY CAPTIVITY- My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. Pricks. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors, by weaving around their feet while they were walking, almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs next time. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile people, I again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. Note-to-self: I think I'll try crapping under their bed, too. Wonder how long it'll take them to find it? Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Damn! Not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergeez." Must learn what the Hell this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He must obviously be a bloody half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, appears to have become an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is preserved. But I can wait;
it's only a matter of time...

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