Stardate :- 2003091992845
Capt's log: My legs are hurting, bloody game yesterday. And I was the goalkeeper for gods sake. Anyway, a lot of talks has been going on about me and her especially after my somehow uncharacteristic show of "friendship" on Wednesday. We went to Qbar, which was the waste of me 50 bucks as my phone failed to functio thus not allowing me to call my contacts who was already inside. After going in, i took about 2 chivas and half a pill (would have had more if me fren hadn't ran out of it) before deciding to join my other friends over at Flam. Over there, it was a riot, drinks flying, girls shaking, guys watching .... and it must have been the alcohol, because as soon as I went back to Qbar, I hugged her, grabbed her hands, talked, watched, listen, looked, and protected her. Looking back, I was sure that was things that only lovers are supposed to be doing, not two strangers who hardly know each other. Oh, other than the fact that we talked for about 5 hours the night before (tuesday, right?). And the little knot in my heart that I should go for her :O More on this later :)
We're planning for a vacation on the glorious beach of Langkawi during this Hari Raya, which if it goes through, will give me a grand total of 3 days to blatantly enjoy my time. I've come to realise how precious time for yourself is important after I started working on this job and my ex. But, strange comments like "you did that alone ?? really" hasn't concerned me this past few weeks as I went shopping for jazz cd's, watched a stand up comedy by the good Jit Murad, who did seem uncomfortable like he has said. Harith was superb, simply. Oh, back to it. Last vacation with this bunch of guys proved to be a roar in pd. I laugh and my heart felt, blessed for one second as I realised I was still capable of being alive, and strived to be so. I'm not the best person ever to give advice, but trust me on this one. Set 1 day aside in every week, be it Saturday this week or Friday the next on, set one aside and set a pleasure chore. Yes, a thing that you do simply because you enjoyed it. Then bloody do it..alone. Well, not everything lar ... but you get my meaning lar... You won't want your 'girl' telling your friends how you failed to start at the moment, right ? But just set one and do it. Be it reading, swimming, singing, watching a movie, shopping, listening to your "Barney Sings The Blues! Vol:2" cd. For once, ask yourself, who cares ? Or more importantly, why should you ?
In some sense, as much as I hate those who thinks their life is complete because they self need is fulfilled, I do envy them at times because they have indeed in a world of their own, and nothing can touch them, even if for that one second. They're ... special. I've seen the faces of those who has earned it, and those who had. What would you give to experience that, what a rush!! HAve you ever experience the joy of simply understanding something ? The joy of the simple fact that you're able to read this, laugh, go out, tell your friends about how stupid it was and come back to have a good night's sleep ? No, no one ever do and I guess no one ever does. Humans. Fact. Anyone who disagree please gohere.
Bah, back to what I started. My heart likes a girl, my head says no. Why ? Well, duh ! ... She seems to like me, sending me sms, calling me up and stuff. But I really dunno and dun care much. A tug is a tug, nothing else much. And I definately don't want to start putting logic into it, it'll ruin every single last bit of magic this still possesseesessseesssesseesesss (is the spelling right?). Yes, I was right wasn't I ? Who doesn't want to feel loved and love ? (maybe subbie, but that's he's gay so that doesn't count :p)
Ah, it seems my worst trait of all has caught up again, laziness. I can't be arsed to type now, really. I do have a lot to say, but nothing much to tell. Oh, I bought "High Fidelity" (that reminds me, dl !!) by Nick Hornby which I can rest assure I'd enjoy because he has written some superb stuff (n3ko, if you ever read this, go get it kay?) ... So, I leave you here with a thought that suddently come onto my mind ... "Know and you'll be appreciated, smile and you'll be like, give and you'll be loved". So, donate with a heart, give with a love and smile with a soul. You'll never know. You'll never know.
Capt's log: My legs are hurting, bloody game yesterday. And I was the goalkeeper for gods sake. Anyway, a lot of talks has been going on about me and her especially after my somehow uncharacteristic show of "friendship" on Wednesday. We went to Qbar, which was the waste of me 50 bucks as my phone failed to functio thus not allowing me to call my contacts who was already inside. After going in, i took about 2 chivas and half a pill (would have had more if me fren hadn't ran out of it) before deciding to join my other friends over at Flam. Over there, it was a riot, drinks flying, girls shaking, guys watching .... and it must have been the alcohol, because as soon as I went back to Qbar, I hugged her, grabbed her hands, talked, watched, listen, looked, and protected her. Looking back, I was sure that was things that only lovers are supposed to be doing, not two strangers who hardly know each other. Oh, other than the fact that we talked for about 5 hours the night before (tuesday, right?). And the little knot in my heart that I should go for her :O More on this later :)
We're planning for a vacation on the glorious beach of Langkawi during this Hari Raya, which if it goes through, will give me a grand total of 3 days to blatantly enjoy my time. I've come to realise how precious time for yourself is important after I started working on this job and my ex. But, strange comments like "you did that alone ?? really" hasn't concerned me this past few weeks as I went shopping for jazz cd's, watched a stand up comedy by the good Jit Murad, who did seem uncomfortable like he has said. Harith was superb, simply. Oh, back to it. Last vacation with this bunch of guys proved to be a roar in pd. I laugh and my heart felt, blessed for one second as I realised I was still capable of being alive, and strived to be so. I'm not the best person ever to give advice, but trust me on this one. Set 1 day aside in every week, be it Saturday this week or Friday the next on, set one aside and set a pleasure chore. Yes, a thing that you do simply because you enjoyed it. Then bloody do it..alone. Well, not everything lar ... but you get my meaning lar... You won't want your 'girl' telling your friends how you failed to start at the moment, right ? But just set one and do it. Be it reading, swimming, singing, watching a movie, shopping, listening to your "Barney Sings The Blues! Vol:2" cd. For once, ask yourself, who cares ? Or more importantly, why should you ?
In some sense, as much as I hate those who thinks their life is complete because they self need is fulfilled, I do envy them at times because they have indeed in a world of their own, and nothing can touch them, even if for that one second. They're ... special. I've seen the faces of those who has earned it, and those who had. What would you give to experience that, what a rush!! HAve you ever experience the joy of simply understanding something ? The joy of the simple fact that you're able to read this, laugh, go out, tell your friends about how stupid it was and come back to have a good night's sleep ? No, no one ever do and I guess no one ever does. Humans. Fact. Anyone who disagree please gohere.
Bah, back to what I started. My heart likes a girl, my head says no. Why ? Well, duh ! ... She seems to like me, sending me sms, calling me up and stuff. But I really dunno and dun care much. A tug is a tug, nothing else much. And I definately don't want to start putting logic into it, it'll ruin every single last bit of magic this still possesseesessseesssesseesesss (is the spelling right?). Yes, I was right wasn't I ? Who doesn't want to feel loved and love ? (maybe subbie, but that's he's gay so that doesn't count :p)
Ah, it seems my worst trait of all has caught up again, laziness. I can't be arsed to type now, really. I do have a lot to say, but nothing much to tell. Oh, I bought "High Fidelity" (that reminds me, dl !!) by Nick Hornby which I can rest assure I'd enjoy because he has written some superb stuff (n3ko, if you ever read this, go get it kay?) ... So, I leave you here with a thought that suddently come onto my mind ... "Know and you'll be appreciated, smile and you'll be like, give and you'll be loved". So, donate with a heart, give with a love and smile with a soul. You'll never know. You'll never know.
posted by Fuzzy at
9/19/2003 10:15:00 PM
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