WAH !!!! So long since I've updated this eh ?? Really has been busy this few weeks. Something seems to just come up, or I'd find something to do to fill my so called 'free time'. I have about 3 books which is still yet to be read, personal works yet tobe done, friends yet to be discovered, girls yet to be loved (well, maybe guys too ;p) and life yet to be lived. Despite all this, I still don't feel as if my life has changed in anyway. I'm still that sulky, depressed, happy go lucky person that I'm. My interest seems to have a weird effect on me again. I've pre-ordered 5 books for Kinokuya on Sunday for no reason other than the fact that I felt like I wanted to read, even though no one would be there to share my interest in it. My taste for music has be waning for some reason, but I'm still hoping for some song that would make me go on a mass downloading mood again. My mood for watching a good football game has been waning too, due to the lack of quality everyone seems to be eager to show these days. My taste for clothes has changed from pure clean cut, button doing, slack wearing Tuxedo into Dude, Where's My Car mode. T-Shirts and jeans galore. Just don't have the mood, time or the spirit to dress up anymore, other than for those one off occasions like wedding dinner where it's absolutely necessary. What's up with girls and wedding dinners anyway ? I never understood why we should suffer with them as they parade down the line for 2 hours for what, 3 people to see and 1 people to comment how she knows her dress from shirts, and so does her boyfriend. Can't they simply go, eat and get the hell out ?

Ah, on to the serious stuff then. I've discovering the fact that I'm becoming better and better in interaction for no reason at all. I'm still a hypocrite, yes. I'm still judging people by their looks, but you must have one of a muthaf@rking look if I was to hate you as much. The most recent on is my new colleague (gosh, my spelling is crap !). Not only did he came in late for his first day at work, but generally does nothing during work time and slept in my clients place. I don't see how he would command any respect from me as a colleague, anymore than a friend, and I'm quite sure he'll last not for long, but since I'm leaving next year, I might have to stick with him for a few more months, as staff shortage is a big problem at our place. It's strange to see me being the only guy, to being a leader to 2 workers when I'm in no way suitable to lead anyone. Anyway, I found myself being able to talk to total strangers or friends one on one, something I never truly like to do. Yes, I don't like talking about anything much. I'm not a good conversation artist, I don't try and find out where you live, how's job, what's wrong with it, where are the cats, and such. I'd talk about things that I have interest in, but as soon as I find out you know less than I do about certain things, I kinda lose interest in anything you say, or anything I should have said. Somehow each time I know a thing better than others, it's automaticly translated as arrogance. So I'd rather keep quiet about the whole deal. That's me I guess. Some likes that, some don't. I'm generally quiet around people, and there are bound to be someone who starts asking me what's wrong, taking pity on me and tries to make it better by talking to me, making me drift away more than I'm already in. Been talking alot to few people, all nicely short and simple, mostly in sms though, I love those at times, you express yourself directly and quickly because the space is limited and the fact that you're pretty much anonymous from the person you're sms'ing. Talk to ying a lot, suprisingly. Been enjoying our few and far between sms ... no idea why though.maybe love ?? :O ... ;) ... she seems nice, looks nice and cute as hell to boot. Definately one to put into the consideration list :) ...

Why am I posting it in the bloody early morning ? Cause I fell asleep half way into reading Fever Pitch by Nick Hornby, and woke up just now. Since sleep isn't an option I can explore just yet, this was my sanctuary for a minute or two. My dinner's ready, or rather breakfast considering the time. I have so much to say, yet so little time to do so. That's life ain't it ? So many roads that we could have take, but there wasn't the time, nor the space, nor the chance, nor the room for error to chose it. So, I'd take one of those road by bidding you goodnight for now, and I'd certainly try and make a more effort and heartfelt post next time I'm around, but it seems I'm only able to do that whenever my heart's crushed beyond recognisation, which usually last about ...3 days ? You can start hoping now then :)