As my current tiny isomnia strikes, I'm left packing my bag for my fortcoming trip to Korea. South of, that is. I have no idea why I'm only updating this now, or why I even bother to do this in the first place, as I've said before, maybe the interest in this has waned. No regrets though, since I've enjoyed my life without any or a little online life. My RO interest is already half gone, my interest in GunBound is ended if not seriously in jeopardise. I finised both of David Sedaris's book in 2 day, now reading on John O'Farrell's The Best A Man Can Get. I have 2 more books to finish up, before I decide to return to the ever oh so hard to read, Don Quixote.
I promised myself to write whatever comes to my mind during the 8 days trip to Korea, every single little details from the moment I board onto the plane, till the moment I step my foot onto my house. The only thing that can seriously deny me that chore would be a failing memory, which I'm quite famous for, or a dying pen, which I have one on my hands as we speak, because I'm writing down a few things I need to sort out, like how to say hello in Korean (Annyeong-haseyo) or thank you (Gomapsuemnida). I have no clue the usefulness of it other than to provoke a odd smile or two from the first few unsuspecting Korean's which I plan to unleash this terror too who isn't sure how to react, either with joy that someone is gullible enough to learn their language, or laughing their ass off because of the result it produced. I'm not even sure if I will still remember to use it the time I arrive at Korea, since the first thing I've been told was that my ass will freeze, and if you open your mouth wide enough, the saliva will freeze your tongue out as well, something I would rather now not lose since it would simply rip me off my ability to tell bb how much I think about her. Even now as I attempt to write out something that was suppose to be my life story, it's her which is on my mind. Don't get me wrong, I'm far from being a great talker, infact, I dislike talking a lot. I rather tell someone I love them by a simple warm big hug then blab out a 15 min speech on it's importance in my life. I'm quite sure this is an aspect she doesn't like about me, the fact that I can't simply ...well, I'm boring. Yes, I'm a boring guy as much as a cake is fattening. That fact alone pretty much eliminates 84% of any girls chances of fancying me, and as far as I'm concerned, I don't stand a chance of being with her.
She doesn't know that she will be the one reminding me of how unperfect I'm, how a bad boyfriend I'm, how I don't say enough nice things to her, that she hates me, that she will kick my ass when she sees me, that she'll take my hands and tell me everything's ok, that she'll ask me not to feel sad, but to look forward to the day when we're both in a place where we would just stare ourselves out silly, with cheesy grin and all. But she will never know that because I don't know how to tell her how important she can become in my life, or how important will she be in my life. She'll never know all that because I for one, already has a frozen tongue and a mind that's stumped when it comes to love. Yes, I can make a crowd of 10-20 person laugh with my witty sarcasm or offensive yet funny point, but I can't in the love of *insert what you believe in here* tell her how I feel about her. I believe the word I managed to blurt out was, "I love you" ... Yes, as much as the meaning was true, sadly the word itself has been used to death by one too many Romeo's or Don Juan's to be well, priceless. I'm at times, simply speechless over her, and well, I really don't know why. I'm quite sure there are times where words simply fails you, where no words or sound can express how you feel, the exact feeling I know I'm going to have when I lift my baby up for the first time and realise I'm a father. A proud one. But before that time comes, which at times I wonder if it ever will, I'm left trying it out on her, which to an extent she doesn't even know the joy of me simply watching her. No, I wasn't bored when you talked to your cousin and I was left staring at you, I was mystified. I was proud that I'm in love with you, on the remote fact that you might even like me too.
Weird, I was supposed to be talking bout me ;) . Bought a pair of cheap earphones today, cost me about RM21. Someday I'd get my hands of those erty's, but until I do work out the nerve to do a stupid stuff like that, I'd stick to these and my old trusty Sony d66sl. Thinking more on getting a new tattoo on my hand, either on the part where you wear you watch or on a finger itself, but it's still bordering between like and plain stupidity, plus I've promised bb not to get one if she promises not to swear in front of me. So, we'll deck that on hold too, natch. I have to get back to doing the always hard to do stuffs, sleeping and packing. But well, as always, it's hard to say Annyeong-hi gaseyo for such a long period when I come back. Maybe my life will already had been changed. Maybe I won't even be back anymore. So, I'd bid it with a personal message in hope that she might eventually read it and well, understands what in the earth I was trying to say, bb, I love you and wish to start a life with you by my side. I might not be the best, the perfect or the greatest person in your life, but I'd certainly try to be what you expected of me, and try to push it a tad bit further more. I'll have my shortcomings though, and I can only hope you'll be by my side to tell me what was it. Can we start a new path together ?
Sincerely yours,
:)
I promised myself to write whatever comes to my mind during the 8 days trip to Korea, every single little details from the moment I board onto the plane, till the moment I step my foot onto my house. The only thing that can seriously deny me that chore would be a failing memory, which I'm quite famous for, or a dying pen, which I have one on my hands as we speak, because I'm writing down a few things I need to sort out, like how to say hello in Korean (Annyeong-haseyo) or thank you (Gomapsuemnida). I have no clue the usefulness of it other than to provoke a odd smile or two from the first few unsuspecting Korean's which I plan to unleash this terror too who isn't sure how to react, either with joy that someone is gullible enough to learn their language, or laughing their ass off because of the result it produced. I'm not even sure if I will still remember to use it the time I arrive at Korea, since the first thing I've been told was that my ass will freeze, and if you open your mouth wide enough, the saliva will freeze your tongue out as well, something I would rather now not lose since it would simply rip me off my ability to tell bb how much I think about her. Even now as I attempt to write out something that was suppose to be my life story, it's her which is on my mind. Don't get me wrong, I'm far from being a great talker, infact, I dislike talking a lot. I rather tell someone I love them by a simple warm big hug then blab out a 15 min speech on it's importance in my life. I'm quite sure this is an aspect she doesn't like about me, the fact that I can't simply ...well, I'm boring. Yes, I'm a boring guy as much as a cake is fattening. That fact alone pretty much eliminates 84% of any girls chances of fancying me, and as far as I'm concerned, I don't stand a chance of being with her.
She doesn't know that she will be the one reminding me of how unperfect I'm, how a bad boyfriend I'm, how I don't say enough nice things to her, that she hates me, that she will kick my ass when she sees me, that she'll take my hands and tell me everything's ok, that she'll ask me not to feel sad, but to look forward to the day when we're both in a place where we would just stare ourselves out silly, with cheesy grin and all. But she will never know that because I don't know how to tell her how important she can become in my life, or how important will she be in my life. She'll never know all that because I for one, already has a frozen tongue and a mind that's stumped when it comes to love. Yes, I can make a crowd of 10-20 person laugh with my witty sarcasm or offensive yet funny point, but I can't in the love of *insert what you believe in here* tell her how I feel about her. I believe the word I managed to blurt out was, "I love you" ... Yes, as much as the meaning was true, sadly the word itself has been used to death by one too many Romeo's or Don Juan's to be well, priceless. I'm at times, simply speechless over her, and well, I really don't know why. I'm quite sure there are times where words simply fails you, where no words or sound can express how you feel, the exact feeling I know I'm going to have when I lift my baby up for the first time and realise I'm a father. A proud one. But before that time comes, which at times I wonder if it ever will, I'm left trying it out on her, which to an extent she doesn't even know the joy of me simply watching her. No, I wasn't bored when you talked to your cousin and I was left staring at you, I was mystified. I was proud that I'm in love with you, on the remote fact that you might even like me too.
Weird, I was supposed to be talking bout me ;) . Bought a pair of cheap earphones today, cost me about RM21. Someday I'd get my hands of those erty's, but until I do work out the nerve to do a stupid stuff like that, I'd stick to these and my old trusty Sony d66sl. Thinking more on getting a new tattoo on my hand, either on the part where you wear you watch or on a finger itself, but it's still bordering between like and plain stupidity, plus I've promised bb not to get one if she promises not to swear in front of me. So, we'll deck that on hold too, natch. I have to get back to doing the always hard to do stuffs, sleeping and packing. But well, as always, it's hard to say Annyeong-hi gaseyo for such a long period when I come back. Maybe my life will already had been changed. Maybe I won't even be back anymore. So, I'd bid it with a personal message in hope that she might eventually read it and well, understands what in the earth I was trying to say, bb, I love you and wish to start a life with you by my side. I might not be the best, the perfect or the greatest person in your life, but I'd certainly try to be what you expected of me, and try to push it a tad bit further more. I'll have my shortcomings though, and I can only hope you'll be by my side to tell me what was it. Can we start a new path together ?
Sincerely yours,
:)
posted by Fuzzy at
1/26/2004 08:02:00 AM
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