Not a very good day. Woke up late due to a late night sleep (I slept at 11a.m) .. My plans for today was ruined. My mom cancelled our supposed trip to shopping land due to work, and well, it's going to be a bitch trying to sleep tonight. I'm going to visit my grandma today. It's been a long time since I've done that, and I do miss her at times. She was my baby sitter for 15 years, and she has given me a lot of good things, treated me like a child of her own, something that is rare among the job. She's about 70ish going 80, so you know how most of the old people are on that age. They ramble and talks about the old times, a time where I was cute and chubby, and a total departure from what I'm now, thin and scary with a beer belly I supposed.

Had a long chat with bb yesterday, then had a more truthful and right to the point chat again online a bit later on. And I think I understand the point she was trying to make all along, that she doesn't want any relationships right now. Strangely, I harbour no hate for her, if not even like her more for this. She was truthful, cruel, exact and didn't tried to lead me around, and in some way, I appreciate that. Not in a good mood to do much thinking today as you might see, I'm trying to honour what she asked me too, that is to forget about her. She has said she'll stop listening to my phone or sms if I persist in doing the usual trick of courting gals, which is communication of course. So, I'm going to stop that. It's be hard, but I think I do understand how that can be a nuisance to someone who doesn't appreciate it like you do. I'm not going to be online or updating this in a day or two, or a week or two, depending on my mood, really. And don't get me wrong, as much as she is the reason I'm behind the mood I am now, I do take as much responsibility in this. I'd take a hard look on myself, and hopefully, tries to keep this friendship alive in someway.

Evan Dando - All My Life
Just look for sunshine
To burn in full time
To be filled with hatred
For the time I've wasted
And I'm so impatient
For a new sensation

God knows what I thought I'd do
I bit my own sweet heart in two

All my life
I thought I needed all the things I didn't need at all
My life
I thought I wanted all the things I didn't want at all

Just to hold my heart beat
In a box by my feet
To be filled with glory
To speak a story
Can you feel the thunder
From the cloud I'm under

God knows how will I get through
I bit my own sweet heart and blew it

All my life
I thought I needed all the things I didn't need at all
My life
I thought I wanted all the things I didn't want at all
My life I thought I needed all the things I didn't need at all

All my life
I thought I needed all the things I didn't need at all
My life I thought I wanted all the things I didn't want at all
My life I thought I needed all the things I didn't need at all
My life I thought I wanted all the things I didn't want at all


This song has been playing over and over in my head, and it calms me down, a lot. Alogn with Whitlams - No Aphodisiac, but that's another story.