As my 2 hours of work was wiped out earlier by an unfortunate incident involving a blue screen, and dark window and a small white mouse icon that wouldn't move and the darn reset button I'm back at square one. But thankfully I still remembered some of the things I wanted to say, so I'll start all over again much to my annoyance and yet the need to write down something. As I sit down among people left and write, with The Darkness blasting in my headphones along with countless sounds surrounding me, I found myself in peace and in a jolly mood to type, moan, bitch, express, whatever you want to call blogging as. Looking back at some of my blogs and others, I found myself in much more understanding about my own self, people around me and generally (yes, aagain.. I can't spell..) stuff. As my life seems to come to a stop, the time you have to look at thing is ridiculous, I becomes a bit more critical at times, example being my brother who absolutely loves Energy, the chinese hip-hop band. As I cringe and cry over most of the songs they sing, even more so of my brothers reaction to them, I can't help but blame myself for his obvious lack of taste in liking, god bles their little hearts but utterly useless and talentless band. They might make a good model, god hopes, but they simply aren't singers. But I'd keep an open mind and hopes they're just doing a superbly good job in hiding their obvious great talents in being a producer all the way to a talented singer so they can show people they're good actors as well. But well, hope. As I've said, I do blame myself in not force feeding him good artistes like Miles Davis, Sigur Ros, Ryan Adams, Jeff Buckley, Beck, The Thrills, The Strokes, Bright Eyes .. well, maybe not him.. his songs makes people wanna commit suicide...David Tao, Mayday, in hope that some of it might rub off him. Well, he does like David Tao, so I guess I've succeeded in some way. 1 down, 243 (and counting) more to go then...
Ahh, and interesting topic came up at my regular forum place, The Dugout, today, Five things you really love at the moment (BABY) . I wrote mine there, so I won't bother explaining it now I guess. but something popped up too, I've started a bit off a rip off, but still something I never put much thought into it in the first place... So as I'm still pondering on how to begin on the bordering piece of article, Heartbreaker and Heartbrakee: A Point Of View which will either be a masterpiece or a complete failure, the latter getting my vote, I rather put that aside for a while since I have absolutely no idea how to start it, and I don't really like to do any research knowing I might end up ripping them off and passing them on as my own. So without futher ado, here goes the theme for today's blog...
5 Songs (That I Recall)That Made Me Cry
1.Take That - Love Ain't Here Anymore
Hmm, where should I start with this. I first heard in in 97 or 99, I don't recall much. Jsut discovered that my 2nd gf was two timing me, and was reaching the peak of it all. So, with a heavy heart, I tried my best to rid her of any guilt, thus having to somehow throw the blame of it all to another, and with me being the best candidate and all, I convinced myself it was my fault. Well, it was at some parts, my fault. I knew her reputation when I started going out with her, I knew about her other relationship, but well, somehow somewhere in my little silly heart, I did hoped that she'll changed for me. But even though I was pretty much prepared for this day, hope of it wouldn't come lifts me up, into the point where when I fell down, it hurts. I think most of you do understand that feeling without me needing to dwelve much into it, right ? But yeah, I loved Take That's Back For Good, and when their Greatest Hits album came out, I got out and bought a copy of it. Having no previous experience of listening to any of their song bar Back For Good, I was pretty much enjoy it, trying to learn it. Then disaster struck. Caught unprepared, the lyrics played out, with me still in the wanting to listen mood, was stucked with the lyrics playing in my mind, the melody grinding in my heart. Tears stream down of my face as I recall and remember how I'm again, single and really a part of my life is gone, no matter how small that part might have been.
2.Boyzone - That's How Love Goes
I'm quite sure this during the first breakup of my 3nd relationship. Was in the point of constant arguing, and was tired of it all. I've loved Boyzone for some time now during that period, and this was off their 3rd album if I recall correctly, slotting somewhere in the B-side of the cassatte. The title should have tipped me off, but I wasn't paying attention at that time. When this came out, the lyrics just simply got to me. And for some unknown reason (again) my eyes redden, and tears formed. It was a straight forward cry, a simply tear, tear, wipe, tear, smile. It did cheer me up a lot after that, knowing how much releasing stress will go to help a heavy heart.
3.KRU - Janji Tinggal Janji
This happened after the end of my first relationship. My puppy love. This was during the time where I thought love, feelings, maturity, sex, marriage, family, and stuff were bound to be revealed in a nicely wrapped package soon enough, mostly in a few months time I guess. But when she muttered the magic key word to open up my heart, I stumbled and fall like I never did before. As I woundedly staggered into Condola Cafe, the one which used to be in front of Klang Parade, the place where we held our first date, where it was our nest, I sat there with a blank mind, not really knowing what I should do or feel. That song came on after some nice warm up in the form of Beyonds "Hei Fun Lei" specially requested by my buddy in the computer shop next door (his gf was working there, so we can generally put any of the mp3s we want and played it loud so we can hear it on the cafe), it was catastrophe. The words simply rushed into my mind, and holding on to it. I cried like a baby with manners, and stunned my friends who none knew what happened as I never did had a chance to tell, or simply didn't bothered too since no one asked as we were fine by the looks of it. After that, I walk to the wash basin, wetted my face, come back with a forced grin, went up to MG and danced to the hip-hop tune that was blasting. It was that simple those days.
4.Bright Eyes - A Perfect Sonnet
This was on during my messy breakup with my 3rd gf, the one that hurted me the most and well, really changed my life in someway. This is the time where I was what, 19 .. and had a generally good grasp of the happening around me, and have a knowledge of the control I possessed. We ended badly, and how this song managed not to make me kill myself I would never understand. It simply spoke to me, and I guess at that period of time, where anger was the core of my emotions, of a confused teen, it seems well, perfect. "I believe that lovers should be chained together, throw into the fire with their songs and letter, left there to burn, left there to burn in their arrogance" ... What words, and the emotion of his voice on that song simple punch through my skull and stabbed into my heart. And no, I didn't cry like a baby.. but rather tears fall down during that anger part.. so you're angry, annoyed, mad and crying at the same time. Quite a sight I must say.
5.Ben Folds Five - Brick
This remains my fave song that I've cried too. It was during the middle of my 3rd relationship, constant bickering and arguing over anything we can find to yell about. It was few days before she mentioned "let's take a break from this" to me, a point where we're simply tired of it all yet somehow hoping we can make it. I was working in a cafe, and listening to a charity Xmas album where they featured in it singing "Leather Jacket", which I was immersely impressed with and go on a witch hunt for a few more songs by them. Brick was apparently their most famous one, and I can see why. The song, the melody, the scene, the feeling, the meaning, the entire thing simpy understood me back then. I put it on my diskette, took it home and listen to it on my pc. I've never heard of it till then, and I cried pretty much like a baby listening to it. And you know when you're crying, you would do the most natural thing a human does, goes against nature and tries to hold it back. So you have me there, sobbing like a baby, holding back my breath so I can't cry more, but somehow fucks it up making me cry even harder it seems and trying to stop that by wiping my face with my arm. Tears coming down my entire face as I desperately tries to hold back what I stupidly tempered with in the first place. So my eyes and nose in red and in pain, my arms is wet and salty, by voice is snorting by the sobs, my head is grumpy from the experience of it all, you end up making much more of a mess than what you intended not too. Ahh, irony works in funny ways. As this ends, I got up and did the best thing anyone would have did in that situation, I replayed the whole thing all over again. I'll let your imaginations run wild now.
*Special Mention-Frankie J - Don't Wanna Try
During the end of my 4th and last relationship. Word by word it was what I felt. Sincerely. But it didn't make me cry, simply depressed.
I guess I grown out of the naive mind after my 3rd relationship, and is more impressed or in awe of any songs I love or liked, where because of it's meaning, it's intensity, it's harmony, it's feeling, it's truthfulness, it's sincerity, the voice, the set or simply how everything falls into place by itself. So, that's a little bit of my history in writing. Happy New Year and enjoy life, you only have one of those. Goodnight.
Ahh, and interesting topic came up at my regular forum place, The Dugout, today, Five things you really love at the moment (BABY) . I wrote mine there, so I won't bother explaining it now I guess. but something popped up too, I've started a bit off a rip off, but still something I never put much thought into it in the first place... So as I'm still pondering on how to begin on the bordering piece of article, Heartbreaker and Heartbrakee: A Point Of View which will either be a masterpiece or a complete failure, the latter getting my vote, I rather put that aside for a while since I have absolutely no idea how to start it, and I don't really like to do any research knowing I might end up ripping them off and passing them on as my own. So without futher ado, here goes the theme for today's blog...
5 Songs (That I Recall)That Made Me Cry
1.Take That - Love Ain't Here Anymore
Hmm, where should I start with this. I first heard in in 97 or 99, I don't recall much. Jsut discovered that my 2nd gf was two timing me, and was reaching the peak of it all. So, with a heavy heart, I tried my best to rid her of any guilt, thus having to somehow throw the blame of it all to another, and with me being the best candidate and all, I convinced myself it was my fault. Well, it was at some parts, my fault. I knew her reputation when I started going out with her, I knew about her other relationship, but well, somehow somewhere in my little silly heart, I did hoped that she'll changed for me. But even though I was pretty much prepared for this day, hope of it wouldn't come lifts me up, into the point where when I fell down, it hurts. I think most of you do understand that feeling without me needing to dwelve much into it, right ? But yeah, I loved Take That's Back For Good, and when their Greatest Hits album came out, I got out and bought a copy of it. Having no previous experience of listening to any of their song bar Back For Good, I was pretty much enjoy it, trying to learn it. Then disaster struck. Caught unprepared, the lyrics played out, with me still in the wanting to listen mood, was stucked with the lyrics playing in my mind, the melody grinding in my heart. Tears stream down of my face as I recall and remember how I'm again, single and really a part of my life is gone, no matter how small that part might have been.
2.Boyzone - That's How Love Goes
I'm quite sure this during the first breakup of my 3nd relationship. Was in the point of constant arguing, and was tired of it all. I've loved Boyzone for some time now during that period, and this was off their 3rd album if I recall correctly, slotting somewhere in the B-side of the cassatte. The title should have tipped me off, but I wasn't paying attention at that time. When this came out, the lyrics just simply got to me. And for some unknown reason (again) my eyes redden, and tears formed. It was a straight forward cry, a simply tear, tear, wipe, tear, smile. It did cheer me up a lot after that, knowing how much releasing stress will go to help a heavy heart.
3.KRU - Janji Tinggal Janji
This happened after the end of my first relationship. My puppy love. This was during the time where I thought love, feelings, maturity, sex, marriage, family, and stuff were bound to be revealed in a nicely wrapped package soon enough, mostly in a few months time I guess. But when she muttered the magic key word to open up my heart, I stumbled and fall like I never did before. As I woundedly staggered into Condola Cafe, the one which used to be in front of Klang Parade, the place where we held our first date, where it was our nest, I sat there with a blank mind, not really knowing what I should do or feel. That song came on after some nice warm up in the form of Beyonds "Hei Fun Lei" specially requested by my buddy in the computer shop next door (his gf was working there, so we can generally put any of the mp3s we want and played it loud so we can hear it on the cafe), it was catastrophe. The words simply rushed into my mind, and holding on to it. I cried like a baby with manners, and stunned my friends who none knew what happened as I never did had a chance to tell, or simply didn't bothered too since no one asked as we were fine by the looks of it. After that, I walk to the wash basin, wetted my face, come back with a forced grin, went up to MG and danced to the hip-hop tune that was blasting. It was that simple those days.
4.Bright Eyes - A Perfect Sonnet
This was on during my messy breakup with my 3rd gf, the one that hurted me the most and well, really changed my life in someway. This is the time where I was what, 19 .. and had a generally good grasp of the happening around me, and have a knowledge of the control I possessed. We ended badly, and how this song managed not to make me kill myself I would never understand. It simply spoke to me, and I guess at that period of time, where anger was the core of my emotions, of a confused teen, it seems well, perfect. "I believe that lovers should be chained together, throw into the fire with their songs and letter, left there to burn, left there to burn in their arrogance" ... What words, and the emotion of his voice on that song simple punch through my skull and stabbed into my heart. And no, I didn't cry like a baby.. but rather tears fall down during that anger part.. so you're angry, annoyed, mad and crying at the same time. Quite a sight I must say.
5.Ben Folds Five - Brick
This remains my fave song that I've cried too. It was during the middle of my 3rd relationship, constant bickering and arguing over anything we can find to yell about. It was few days before she mentioned "let's take a break from this" to me, a point where we're simply tired of it all yet somehow hoping we can make it. I was working in a cafe, and listening to a charity Xmas album where they featured in it singing "Leather Jacket", which I was immersely impressed with and go on a witch hunt for a few more songs by them. Brick was apparently their most famous one, and I can see why. The song, the melody, the scene, the feeling, the meaning, the entire thing simpy understood me back then. I put it on my diskette, took it home and listen to it on my pc. I've never heard of it till then, and I cried pretty much like a baby listening to it. And you know when you're crying, you would do the most natural thing a human does, goes against nature and tries to hold it back. So you have me there, sobbing like a baby, holding back my breath so I can't cry more, but somehow fucks it up making me cry even harder it seems and trying to stop that by wiping my face with my arm. Tears coming down my entire face as I desperately tries to hold back what I stupidly tempered with in the first place. So my eyes and nose in red and in pain, my arms is wet and salty, by voice is snorting by the sobs, my head is grumpy from the experience of it all, you end up making much more of a mess than what you intended not too. Ahh, irony works in funny ways. As this ends, I got up and did the best thing anyone would have did in that situation, I replayed the whole thing all over again. I'll let your imaginations run wild now.
*Special Mention-Frankie J - Don't Wanna Try
During the end of my 4th and last relationship. Word by word it was what I felt. Sincerely. But it didn't make me cry, simply depressed.
I guess I grown out of the naive mind after my 3rd relationship, and is more impressed or in awe of any songs I love or liked, where because of it's meaning, it's intensity, it's harmony, it's feeling, it's truthfulness, it's sincerity, the voice, the set or simply how everything falls into place by itself. So, that's a little bit of my history in writing. Happy New Year and enjoy life, you only have one of those. Goodnight.
posted by Fuzzy at
12/27/2003 02:02:00 AM
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