Looking back at some of my post, I felt a shocking sensation inside of me. Was this me ? Was this the guy people once actually come to for love advice ? Unfortunately yes. I'm a weird one, yes. I'm all for changes to my life, I love changes, something new, something different, something that will offer me a new prespective towards a life that to me, is fast losing it's appeal. No, I'm not thinking about suicide, I haven't and think I'd ever reach that level of depress-ness. But I really don't know what I should do with it either, it's just like a silly book that you're granny/mother/best friend/*insert what applicable* gave you for your birthday/christmas/just for the heck of it and expect you to read it so you both can talk about it sometimes. Something that you really don't wanna do, but yet is expected simply because they wanna know what you think of it. You don't have the heart to read it, yet you don't have the heart not too, so you flip through it and hope it'll pass. I don't want my life to end that way, or to begin with in the first place, but as it goes along, this is waht it seems to be heading for. A life of well, nothing-ness. I never wish for me to be a millionare, I prolly ain't that hardworking or materialistic enough to be that kind of person, but just for enough so I can do what I really want in my life. Or getting a good partner to be with, all the time.Yes, I concede that I fall in love easily as I fall out of them, but I hate those little leftovers that clog up your heart so you somehow think you're still in love with them. And that is the only thing people seems to pick you, you and me. No idea why though, it's just a cheap shot that is there and available, just like taking a candy from a child, a stupid or naive one, and his mother is not watching, or else we might end up with a lawsuit. Aye.

I have no idea why I'm writing all of this, I guess what my friend told me hit the right spot, you write a blog on what you feel, not what you think. Well, I'm feeling bored, tired and sad. I've long ago since cared what my status was, I was single and well, not a loser at some points of life. People generally assumed I have a good life and a great girlfriend, or I have a good life and many girlfriends, I've pass the point of proving them wrong. I've prolly mentioned this a million times, but I'd make a statement that will be my most utter bare truth here, I'd stop trying to grab bb anymore. I'd stop talking to her, telling her how much i..... simply stop. Would it be hard ? By god yes, but I've somehow learnt the useless skill of covering up sadness with a fake smile, a fake nod or a fake truth. At the end of the day, I guess I've forgotten how to be happy, so I'd just take a look at the picture or lives of someone else and be glad that I'm not them in anyway. Yes, how happy is my life. Don't get me wrong, it's every teenager and young adults life to biatch and complaint about how stupid thier life is, I'm sure I'd get pass this stage in say what, 1-2 years time where I do hope I've done BASE jumping, bungee, finally understands the ultimate move in the melbourne shuffle (which I still think is stupid) and whatever catches my imagination in the coming years.

This made me laugh out loud just now. Well, not loud, just laugh. It's been quite a while since something really funny stuck onto my mind now. Speaking off, why does people, well, girls make things so complicated at times. What the heck is going on their mind ? This isn't meant as an insult, but it'll prolly comes off as one, what the hell are they thinking ? Either a yes or no would suffice, no ? I have people running to me with silly problems, I have one myself, and I've seen quite a few this past few days, all because of a girl apparently unable to capture or understand the simplicity in saying yes or no. Either that or that have just found the best game since Monopoly, which was a bad game, well, ok-ish in the first place. Just seeing what they managed to put us through is still amazing at times, I've seen my friend who was smiling when he got his head broken by some bottle which just happens to fell into a guy's hand cried like a baby when his girlfriend decides she doesn't love him anymore, which apparently lasted for about 2 months. Yes, the power of love. Which I wouldn't have any idea of, note.

Oh yes, bored. Why am I? I have no idea, my lfie is pretty much filled up if I just bothered to make a few phone calls. Which I am at times, but the places is getting smaller, the routine is getting similar as times flies by, I'm going to Qbar or flam just for the sake of showing up, not to enjoy myself, which is something I haven't learn to do in a while now. I'm burned out. The lack of transportation and cash at times has left me down oh too often, now I just lay back, having nothing to add when a place is suggested. I go with the flow apparently ( I hate that phrase), which bores me at times, but I try to find humor and joy in all of this occasion, like breaking my hands trying to save a ball from going into the net, yes, wahey indeed. Still, I'm pretty much still grateful at me having (still..) some friends that I can go out with. But the person I wanna be with most, well.... shit.. forget bout that.. I don't deserves her, I know about the other candidates in her life, and... well, see, I'm covering up again. Sigh.

Have an excellent cover of Crazy in Love by Snow Patrol :) .. Anyway, I'm bored. I would love to get into the part where I explain what was bringing me down, but I guess you would already have some clues, even though I assume you'll misunderstood me again and call me a biatch, but well, in the end, who cares.