It's only words..

My mother sat crying alone 3 in the morning because her drugged up eldest son had just essentially for another time, chased my parents out of their own home. She is faced with a mountain of debt and carries to sole responsibility in providing for this family. What words do you use to console her then? That everything will be alright? That he will wake up and find a reason to stop abusing drugs and lead a life of the pure? That my dad will finally land that mega million deal he had been sure to land “by next week” for almost a decade now? That her remaining sons that can’t even support themselves proper will be the solutions to this?

My father sat dejected, blaming himself for not being the able provider everyone expects the man of the house to be. At the golden age where one is expected to reap the fruits of experience and wisdom, he is instead burdened with a son that is a drug addict, another which is still trying to start a life and least one more that has not an ounce of respect for him. What words do we use to console him then? That everything will be alright? That he will finally complete the deal and provide his family life beyond comfort? That his sons will turn towards him in search of a role model? That he be comforted by words of counsel saying he had not failed in his duty as a father?

His eldest sat down disconnected, icing up himself to a high that causes him to drive everyone that cared for him away, and when he realizes that no one was there at the end of it all, he iced up again to take the pain away. Thus the cycle repeats. What words do you use to console him then? Whatever it is, I don’t care no more.

My youngest sat desolated as he wrote “waking up every day was like a nightmare” when asked to describe a reason for hope. At the age where holiday meant fun, he is toiling for work, eager to earn every single cent possible, ruing over a chance missed. What words do you use to console him then? That everything will be alright? That his father will come good and deliver finally? That he’ll have a role model in a family with no role? A mother who mans over the household but yet lack the heart, a father who holds the title yet not the respect, two brothers who is utter failure by normal terms. He curses the fact that he was borne into this family, blinded over the strength he had received from it, veiled by perceptions of a perfect family, perfect life. Who then, we ask, would understand the plight of this teen with none in common of the rest other than the ties of blood kin, whatever value of it to him?

I sat alone disheartened as I wrote this piece when all I really wanted was rest. My blood kin I had consisted a mother who needed courage, a father who needed a heart, a disowned kin who needed a brain and a youngest who needed a home. I guess I needed a wizard I doubt exist. What word would you use for me? That everything will be alright? That my mother will have to courage to attend logic over love and send help to her eldest? That my father will be able to understand his family and come to terms with what he has provided? That my kin will be able to have the brain to understand that he is destroying everything he claimed he holds dear? That my youngest will be able to have the home he desire with its perfect parents and perfect life?

Things go beyond words alone and sometimes, words are not in need. I have no time for the sympathies and sorries thrown my way, though I appreciate the gesture. Yes, this is a hard thing for me to accept, I took a hard decision to disown personally someone once so dear to me and I will suffer the consequences of it from what on. I will be losing blood kins by the end of it all, I can only hope I don’t lose them all. I’ve doned sorrying, I’ve doned pitying, I’ve doned crying, I’ve doned saddening. I should be starting believing. It is said that the sky is always darkest before dawn, I hope, nay, believe that this time is will be more than just words.