What's that term again?

I've terrified of the person I'm becoming nowdays. Its funny how alot of people never actually take a step back and look at themselves from outside and see how others are seeing them as they are. We're too busy trying to convince others that we're good enough to live up to whatever standards they have set or setting in their own small mind that we never know what is the meaning of doing things because we like to do it. But I do think I've crossed the line of being selfish and being a simple bastard. I won't go into details for some reason (yes, for another first time I can't talk about something coz I dunno how to).

I was doing a Life Chart thing that needed me to state 10 key moments in my life that I will remember forever and I found myself unable to come up with even 5. Now I find myself asking, is this my life? Are meself that eventful until I can't really think up any 5 events that might have changed my prespective on life bar one. The one with the good friend betrayal thing. That changed me alot as I saw who my true friends was, which was almost none bar a few who actually had the guts to stay out of that entire event.

Well, I don't really recall any incident that is so worthwhile that I actually need to talk about it. Other than the fact that I've taken more LRT rides this year than any more my other 20 combined. But I remain hopeful that one of this very day, I will finally get my chance to ruin the environment by getting a new car. Lets hope for the best, eh?

Going back to the subject, I took a look back at what was happening to me in the past few days and I immediately realised that it was a combination of what I was always had a fear from, that I'm already starting to show signs of boredom towards the courses I'm studying and I sometime have too much time at hand to think about how I'm already starting to show signs of boredom towards the courses I'm currently studying. It's not a nice view to be honest.

Someone messaged my telling me that I'm a fan of Britpop/rock or whatever and I sadly know that he was right. But for the life of me I cannot actually name you a band that I actually follow religiously. The Thrills are the only band I do follow these days, but that simply means I already start listening to them when not more than 100 people in the KL area have any idea who they are (I think) before MTV starts playing them and they impressed me enough to download their second album. Yes, don't ever count on me to be loyal in the music industry. It's a cut troat business. Still, I'm sad that I have no idea who he was but I sincerely thank him for that kind word. Fan? Now that's a new concept to me :)

I did have alot to rant about on the start of this journey, but knowing me I simply lost out on the plot and I find myself enjoying what everyone already was enjoying all this while, the third season of Scrubs and the opening theme song to the show, Lazlo Bane's Superman. Here I leave you with his lyrics because here is the part where I can rant, well I can identify with most of his lyrics. Ok, only some but still.

Out the door just in time
Head down the 405
Gotta meet the new boss by 8 a.m.
The phone rings in the car
The wife is workin' hard
She's running late tonight again

Well
I know what I've been told,
You got to work to feed the soul
But I can't do this all on my own
No, I know, I'm no Superman
I'm no Superman

You've got your love online
You think you're doing fine
But you're just plugged into the wall

And that deck of tarot cards
Won't get you very far
There ain't no hand to break your fall

Well
I know what I've been told
You gotta know just when to fold
But I can't do this all on my own
No, I know, I'm no Superman
I'm no Superman

That's right

You've crossed the finish line
Won the race but lost your mind
Was it worth it after all

I need you here with me
Cause love is all we need
Just take a hold of the hand that breaks the fall

Well I know what I've been told
Gotta break free to break the mold
But I can't do this all on my own
No I can't do this all on my own
I know that I'm no Superman
I'm no Superman
I'm no Superman

Someday we'll be together
I'm no Superman
Someday
Someday we'll be together
Someday
I'm no Superman

Ah, I'm starting to like this 'fan' thing :)