Oh, there they are...

I spend hours few days ago looking for my glasses. I totally forgotten where I had placed them after I ditched them for the more younger and better thing, a pair of contact lenses.

I generally assume that Damian got upset and hid himself from me, just to make me realise how we always take things for granted. I never knew how important Damian was until I walk around in the dark with everything around me a blur. It reminded me of the old pirate vcd days where you spend 20 mins trying to figure out what the hell you're watching because the screens a blur and you have no idea what they're blurbing out from that horrible sound. And that is enough to send a chill down my spine. It was a frantic few hours aye, but in the end like some Hollywood movie I found it just in time for me to feel safe that its not gone and I went to bed feeling that today, the world is perfect.

Talking to my tutor today (I'm not sure if I'm qualified to call her friend yet), another similar story came up. While I'm pretty much up for creating some controversy and bad spellings, I'm not that eager to argue about newspaper stories that don't interest me the slightest bit. But I was reminded of one thing though, that the telephone connection between Aussie and M'sia is still crap. It must just be me, but when you only hear "Hello, bbzzzz bzzzz bzzz bzzzz ok? bbzz bbbzz bzzz bzzz thanks, bbzz bbzzzz looking forward bbzz bbzz job, bye!" there is something wrong. I admit I heard more than that, but I'm going to go ahead and pretend I didn't so I won't need to do whatever he was bbzzz'ing about in the first place. But that's not going to stop me from complaining about the bad telephone lines that we have, only this will. The fact that I'm here to talk about the lost of 2 child's to a money sucking, American wannabes, mostly racist and the main exports of useless graduates. No, I'm not talking about Inti, I'm talking about Australia rather. As of last week, both of my cousins left to pursue a higher education (snigger) in the land of bad accents.

I can only begin to imagine how tough it must be on them. Not only in losing two kids to a foreign land, but exposing a daugther to it for 2 years when she has barely left her house for more than 2 weeks. Imagine losing a way of life, losing *insert Pachabel's Canon in D here* a companion, a worker, a soulmate and the worst of all, losing the main handler for her 17 year old son. Everyone knows the youngest child only fears his/hers older brothers/sisters and not the mother. With my cousin being there to snarl at every request the young punk refuses to do, how is the mother ever going to get things done?

Its hard to imagine that this time apart can only bring them closer,how each meal seems more livelier, each word seems more meaningful, each smile seems more warm or each hug seems to be filled with more love then ever before. I'm not sure whether it is out of naive or desperation, but it seems like everyone who had faced the same problem only hoped for one thing at the end, a grand hope that nothing will change. I'm not sure why. Has people forget how to appreciate the simple things in live that they are unwilling to accept that changes is what made us who we are. If I've stayed the same over the past few years I'd be suicidal and clinging on to a relationship heading for a slow death. I'm not defending that changes are good, I only think that changes will give you the complete picture, you wouldn't know whats on the other side if you only keep trying to be in your own.

Then again, time apart between me and my friends has not turned out to be good in anyway. Some will say we moved on, that we have other interest and priorities now, but I can't understand that simple equation. Every talk we had, every nod we get, even laugh we share don't seem to worth it anymore. Strange how some would rather not put any effort in keeping a friendship alive yet expect that it will be always the same. The movie"Y Tu Mama Tambien" has a great scene towards the end where both of the long time friends meet up. The arkwardness, the fake smiles, the gasp at old news, the promise that they'll do this again sometime seemed familiar. Add in some backstabbing after the cafe scene it could very well be me. Good friends? Heh, I forget where or who they were the last time I checked.

I guess we simply changed. We don't get wiser as we get old, we don't get mature as we get old. We only get tired and weary. We will come to accept that we might as well do what the HBO teach us about friendships and family to feel better about our own pointless existence or we choose to be the rebel so we can feel more alive knowing that there are people out there that will remember you when you pass away. People remember villians better than the best friend to the hero I guess. And not many end up being the hero. But as much as most of my old friendships are ruined, I've changed for the eerr..... something. You will never know how exciting it is to meet someone you can talk to for hours until you've been alone. I've been less frisky to details now, stop picking on the small irritating points that would have cause me to hate someone in the past, smile more, talk less, listen more, understand less (especially women.. ;p), think more, act less.. I guess I finally know the merits of being the best friend to the hero. I never want the responsibility nor the fame, but I'd be glad to give it all if I was ever needed. I don't think I hit rock bottom to discover this fact, but I think I came fairly close to it.

So tonight I will go to bed with my glasses firmly grasped between my palms, close my eyes with a smile, knowing that the world is a better place where in tomorrow when I wake up, I can remember where I left my good friends at.

"Oh, there they are."

And I would live again.