Dancing to Dad's tunes.

Back in the days, about two weeks ago I could afford waking up at 11 a.m and still make it on time to my work place. But it all changed few days ago when I was asked to work at Tesco, about 20 minutes drive if from my place if I was the only living thing left on the earth and there is no traffic light. But since my plan to wipe out the planet earth of its inhibitants was a failure, therefore I had to wake up at 8 something just to make it on time to work.

On arrival, even more fun things happen as I found out I'm not needed at work today due to the small fact that the shop has no Canon product whatsoever. Brilliant. As my 'manager' profusely apologises to me, I can't help but to feel powerful. So I walked proudly to the mamak stall beside me and ordered a Teh Tarik. I don't know if you ever tasted power before, but it feels like a massive headache to me, especially after I have to gulp down the ice drink in 10 minutes time. But still, power tastes like a ice cold teh tarik coupled with a headache, so now you know.

On my way back, I can't help but to notice despite all differences between us, I'm going to grow up to be like my dad. I can already see the similarities, we're both at times stubborn, grumpy, certainly forgetful and also we both wear glasses!! Well, technically I wear contact lenses, but still. As I pondered about how much my dad has aged, I can't help but to think how he felt about us, his sons.

Was he proud about his street smart, life by a knife oldest son? Was he happy about his forever under-achieve, wasted talents of his second born or even his book smart but utterly naive youngest? Was he proud off all we've achieved, or in my case, the lack of achievement? Was he proud of what he has given us? Does he think he has been the best father figure ever?

I dread to have any answers for the questions above. Looking into the future, I can't help but to think that it will be the exact questions my kids will ask of me. I can only hope by then, I would have mustered enough courage not only to seek an answer, but also to address it as well.

As we arrived home, I watched as my dad goes about his usual stuffs. I'll admit all of us has outgrown the days where he was our everything, when he was the first person to approach when a trouble creeps up. Instead now he's usually only approached once my mom refers us to his direction, which means small tasks that my mom is either too tired or too bored to handle like driving my brother around or washing the dishes.

Again, I can't help but remembering that I'm the one who is most likely to end up like him. While many would squirm at the thought of ending up like their fathers, especially girls, even more would squirm at the thought of becoming a retired dad, relegated to the role of dishes washing and clothes ironing, stripped of almost all what others will point too as 'dignity'.

But far from it, I have nothing but pride for my father. Sure, having a supporting role in an household isn't the proudest thing a man can boast, but I can bet that not many man can boast the fact that he has 3 sons that love him so dearly. Yes, there are times (well, most of it) where you wouldn't notice that fact, if any of us are required to die to save his life, I don't think there would be a shortage or candidates.

So, as I look over the empty promises, the fake interest in our life, the need to hog Astro for 20 hours a day or the need to blame everyone else for every fault you find in our household, he's the best dad anyone can imagine. Thus, in here I can only do this much to honor him. A very late but feltful Happy Father's Day, dad. You deserved it well. And thanks for the fish.

Hey, don't look at me that way, us men have some dignity to uphold, afterall.