Where We Need Manuals..
The fact that I'm suppose to do my assignments now but instead I'm writing this should have probably tip me off that this was not going to be a good day. But the fact that I'm sitting here laughing at one of my online friends trying to make me angry is an indication that I'm still pretty much in a daze.
Well, can't blame me much since I pretty much slept through the whole day and only woke up at 7 p.m. knowing that I missed both my supposedly picnic trip and my old friend's new shop opening. Waking up to a realisation that you have just risked losing an old friendship as well as some new ones is not an happy moment. But the good news comes from an SMS by an old friend, asking me to a yum char session, something I've forgotten to do in quite a while. I've been so out of tune with my surrounding that I actually started to get some admirers -.-" ... Bless their little hearts. When I at times need that to cheer me up, I know I've gone to a whole new level of out-of-tuneness.
Still, it was nice to 'catch' up on old news. This being kind of a minor counseling session didn't bother me one bit. And as a counselor, I'm obliged not to expose any informations about my 'client'. But it was interesting as she was having some trouble coping with her current life, pressure from work, confusion from love but most of all in my view was dissapoinment on self. I guess alot of what I learn in class makes more sense now, that people are stuck at one point because they simply can't get past of the one problem they face and at times overblown. It's just like how you will notice a person's missing teeth on front rather than they stunning dress or superb personality. Just like how girls would sit down in front of a make up table because they think the lipstick application skill was a bit off.
She told me her colleagues spreads some bad rumors about her because she is out performing them quite greatly and thus created jealously around her. Its quite hard to grasp the concept but viewing it as a honor rather than a problem would be a good start. Why stop there? Why be the envy of some co-workers? Why don't be the envy of the business world? Why don't be the one people say, "She's who I wanna replace" ? I was suprised to see her in that sort of manner to be honest. I've always viewed her as a smart person, able to adapt quickly and understands a concept quick enough to get a problem solved. To see that she is asking for an quick answer out is simply... humbling. Of all of my friends, she would have been one of those I would never expect to want a quick way out, she was the one in my mind that would slug it out the hard way, win and be proud of that fact. Alot of people including never knew that counseling isn't about providing answers, it's about lighting up the bonfires in your world that you put out long ago because you think you never need it anymore. Or maybe just like sunlight, it has always been there until it comes to a point you stop appreciating it or simply forget to remember its still shining as brightly as ever, not because it has too, but simply because it wants too. As people zooms into the darkness to dirtied their canvas, the scope of the whole picture became smaller, and as you move closer towards it the problem seems bigger, seems deadlier.
She also told me about her useless boyfriend and the fact that even though she has given up on him, she just can't seem to get over him. And listening to her talk, I confess that I can't help but start and try to apply some of what I learnt into that process, which thankfully I managed to avert doing so. But in listening to her, I can't help to feel that she isn't hung up on what happens to this relationship, rather what she done wrong in it and that she failed one something she was involved in due to her never say lose attitude. Is this already past the point of longing to be loved back, but has entered the state of wanting to be the one walking away the winner in this slugging match that is usually unfair in many cases? But as usual, love is something that remains hard to explain. I've seen girls pining for a guy who can't care less but yet became the same person to dish out the same 'punishment' to other guys who love them more than the guy. But I do understand that no one is or can be blamed for this situations because well love, as The Darkness sings so well, is only a feeling. It seemed to me like we were more angry towards the fact that we got the wrong color into the canvas and spends hours trying to decide what to do with it, fix it? Leave it alone? Paint over it? Build around it?
Well, as we parted ways for the night, I can only hope some of the words I've said, or to her repeated would somehow made sense or at least would help her in one way or another. The last word that I managed to squeeze out of a still somehow shell shocked me was "Good luck". But I'm confident that she is strong enough to face all these challenges and what she is facing now is simply just some minor bumps along the road.
But at the end, I would have loved to end our brief but packed conversation with the fact that "Sometimes an artist focused too much on the wrong patch of color he used on that corner, or the small hole that seemed so big when given a closer look. While we can't help them to solve the problem because its not our painting in the first place, but we can pull them up so that they'll see that they're painting a whole picture, and I'd rather see a picture with some minor defects than to never see a picture at all". Sadly I guess, I was also in need of someone to pull me up.
Well, can't blame me much since I pretty much slept through the whole day and only woke up at 7 p.m. knowing that I missed both my supposedly picnic trip and my old friend's new shop opening. Waking up to a realisation that you have just risked losing an old friendship as well as some new ones is not an happy moment. But the good news comes from an SMS by an old friend, asking me to a yum char session, something I've forgotten to do in quite a while. I've been so out of tune with my surrounding that I actually started to get some admirers -.-" ... Bless their little hearts. When I at times need that to cheer me up, I know I've gone to a whole new level of out-of-tuneness.
Still, it was nice to 'catch' up on old news. This being kind of a minor counseling session didn't bother me one bit. And as a counselor, I'm obliged not to expose any informations about my 'client'. But it was interesting as she was having some trouble coping with her current life, pressure from work, confusion from love but most of all in my view was dissapoinment on self. I guess alot of what I learn in class makes more sense now, that people are stuck at one point because they simply can't get past of the one problem they face and at times overblown. It's just like how you will notice a person's missing teeth on front rather than they stunning dress or superb personality. Just like how girls would sit down in front of a make up table because they think the lipstick application skill was a bit off.
She told me her colleagues spreads some bad rumors about her because she is out performing them quite greatly and thus created jealously around her. Its quite hard to grasp the concept but viewing it as a honor rather than a problem would be a good start. Why stop there? Why be the envy of some co-workers? Why don't be the envy of the business world? Why don't be the one people say, "She's who I wanna replace" ? I was suprised to see her in that sort of manner to be honest. I've always viewed her as a smart person, able to adapt quickly and understands a concept quick enough to get a problem solved. To see that she is asking for an quick answer out is simply... humbling. Of all of my friends, she would have been one of those I would never expect to want a quick way out, she was the one in my mind that would slug it out the hard way, win and be proud of that fact. Alot of people including never knew that counseling isn't about providing answers, it's about lighting up the bonfires in your world that you put out long ago because you think you never need it anymore. Or maybe just like sunlight, it has always been there until it comes to a point you stop appreciating it or simply forget to remember its still shining as brightly as ever, not because it has too, but simply because it wants too. As people zooms into the darkness to dirtied their canvas, the scope of the whole picture became smaller, and as you move closer towards it the problem seems bigger, seems deadlier.
She also told me about her useless boyfriend and the fact that even though she has given up on him, she just can't seem to get over him. And listening to her talk, I confess that I can't help but start and try to apply some of what I learnt into that process, which thankfully I managed to avert doing so. But in listening to her, I can't help to feel that she isn't hung up on what happens to this relationship, rather what she done wrong in it and that she failed one something she was involved in due to her never say lose attitude. Is this already past the point of longing to be loved back, but has entered the state of wanting to be the one walking away the winner in this slugging match that is usually unfair in many cases? But as usual, love is something that remains hard to explain. I've seen girls pining for a guy who can't care less but yet became the same person to dish out the same 'punishment' to other guys who love them more than the guy. But I do understand that no one is or can be blamed for this situations because well love, as The Darkness sings so well, is only a feeling. It seemed to me like we were more angry towards the fact that we got the wrong color into the canvas and spends hours trying to decide what to do with it, fix it? Leave it alone? Paint over it? Build around it?
Well, as we parted ways for the night, I can only hope some of the words I've said, or to her repeated would somehow made sense or at least would help her in one way or another. The last word that I managed to squeeze out of a still somehow shell shocked me was "Good luck". But I'm confident that she is strong enough to face all these challenges and what she is facing now is simply just some minor bumps along the road.
But at the end, I would have loved to end our brief but packed conversation with the fact that "Sometimes an artist focused too much on the wrong patch of color he used on that corner, or the small hole that seemed so big when given a closer look. While we can't help them to solve the problem because its not our painting in the first place, but we can pull them up so that they'll see that they're painting a whole picture, and I'd rather see a picture with some minor defects than to never see a picture at all". Sadly I guess, I was also in need of someone to pull me up.
posted by Fuzzy at
9/19/2004 02:30:00 AM
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