Starting a Stop.

I might stop blogging soon enough. I just don't have the mood to keep on doing something I don't really care about these days.

I will tell you this much though, that with everything wrong in my life so far, I've found something to cheer me up. Well, someone actually. She has been mentioned a few time here, though I doubt she'll be mentioned again due to eer.. some technical difficulties in getting the approval from the aforementioned person.

But I will tell you this, she might be the only person I'd jump into a commitment right now. And knowing me, I'm indeed that serious.

Sadly though, I guess my past reputation has exceeded me, or I simply caught her at a wrong time, I...... I guess it's not meant to be for now. Still, I'm keeping a cheerful front. Heck, I've forgotten the last time anyone knew the exact feelings towards anything, anything at all. Infectuation? Heh, I've been through enough bullshits too know the real from fake. Still, we're (allegedly) embarking on an one month silence treaty, she hopes it'll tear me away from her.

Well, it will. As a rosebud without water, I can't see how this relationship (or the lackof) will grow in anyway, but a words a word. If she press on with it, I'm happy (not) to oblige.

That's about it for now. I'm tired of thinking, I'm tired of hoping, I'm tired of wishing, I'm tired of knowing I'm quite a spectecular failure in quite some way and certainly I'm tired on thinking about tomorrow. I'm simply not that kind of person but sadly in this world, the choice is not up to you. So, here's to the million dollar smile from a thousand dollar person. Wish me luck guys, I'm off to try reality.


ps: aileen is my gf (well, coming soon to a cinema near you la)