On a note..

One hectic day is replaced by another and lo behold, college starts again. So here goes some silly nit and notes that I can recall sitting here, so details are bound to be lacking.

On a positive note, one of my good friends since ages ago got married. Which was a slight suprise to me as it came totally unguarded because it's rare for a guy to want to get married at the age of 24 with no 'accidents' whatsover, but then again a couple of my friends has done the same so it might be a weird bug that spreads only among us.

On a negative one, aileen's mood swings are scary. I'm learning the tip and tricks of putting up with it, but one day I'm afraid I will run out of steam and wouldn't be able to handle it. Still, knowing she loves me is enough to spur me on. The day she stops will be the day I let her go.

On a positive note, everything worked out somehow and I was able to continue my college education.

On a negative one, aspects of it remains in the dark until I can settle things down. And I have to take BM :(

On a positive note, I have Ms. Winnee teaching both of my classes, with Dr. Goh assisting in one of them, should be a good class then.

On a negative one, I've already have people harrassing me over the fact that some Malaysian singer/model chick is in my class. I DON'T CARE.

On a positve note, our relationship is going extremely well even with the occasional bumps.

On a negative one, at times I don't know where I stand in her heart. Hearing things like "I know I won't marry you" hardly inspires you to be a better boyfriend, even though I know marriage is the furthest thing in our mind.

On a negative note, I'm tired. I've been bombarded with roles I don't want to play, informations I don't want to know, problems I don't want to face, thoughts I don't want to have, words I don't want to hear, tears I don't want to drop and truths I don't want to handle.

One a positive one, I'm still standing, I will continue to stand, with or without anyone beside me. I have to stand, knowing that your own brother might be assasinated anytime isn't a fun thought, but who else can I share this fear with? Watching your mom cry as she talks about our home isn't the happiest memory, but could you turn away? Listening to your granny talks as everyday would be her last day isn't a smile inducing factor, but the fact remains. Sensing the hurt your girlfriend causes with those ice-cold stares isn't the next best thing, but what else do you expect?

It can be a lonely place to be in, a place where you don't see anyone else but you. But of course, there are far worst cases than mine, for lonelier places I can't reach, far terrible problems I can't grasp. With that in mind, I have to stand, I have to smile and I have to walk. Because if everyone gives up, who would be there to see, to know what we could reap at the end? Who would shoulder the half-arsed responsibilities of the eldest son if something (touchwood) did go wrong? Who would be the shoulder to cry on, the comforting sound to stop the tears? Who would be the calm giver, the achievement reminder when she lies on her dying bed? Who would be the cheer provider, the silly clown, the stupid lover when she's down in her mood? Who else but me?

Of course, there are far more people more qualified than me, far more able people than me, maybe even far more people willing to take the responsibility than me. But how could I take this chance, knowing at the end of the day, these are the people who fills up my notes with the positives and negatives and these shall be the people I strive to leave a positive note on.

And on that note, I'd like to give you a little snipet of what is quite a brilliant skit from John Safran:

"I admit there's some people smart enough to understand science and the Big Bang and all that stuff, and therefore have enough insight and knowledge to be an atheist. But let's face it ? you're not one of them. Why? Because you're a Humanities student with an Arts degree. Let's not play any games here, if I came over to your house right now and asked you to explain why the Big Bang theory is more rational than Genesis, you wouldn't be able to even stutter out a semblance of an answer. So where do you get off sniggering at Christians like they're stupid and you have some amazing insight? Sure, you bought a copy of Stephen Hawking's "Brief History of Time", but I think if you waddle over to your bookshelf, you'll see that the bookmark is exactly where you left it nine years ago... on page three. Face it ? you're too stupid to be an atheist."